


Caveat Explorator

by 2hoots



Category: Gravity Falls, Psychonauts (Video Games)
Genre: Crossover, Enemies to Friends, Gen, Mystery Kids, near-death situations are a great time to talk about your feelings, ok enemies is a strong word but there's some tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22616155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2hoots/pseuds/2hoots
Summary: Dipper's summary of his day so far:- What was supposed to be an everyday dungeon-delving mission turning deadly after accidentally triggering a booby trap: pretty bad.- That same situation except also he's stuck with this cocky jerk who keeps trying to one-up him at every turn: even worse.- About to be crushed by boulders: the icing on the cake.One-shot, Mystery Kids x-over AU.
Relationships: Razputin Aquato & Dipper Pines
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	Caveat Explorator

There was dust clogging his eyes and mouth. Dipper coughed and spluttered, brought an arm up to scrub across his eyelids. When he opened them, everything was orange.

Slowly, he gathered himself into a sitting position. He'd scraped his knees and elbows falling to the floor. He thumbed at one of the scratches, in a daze, and watched as a drop of dark blood languidly oozed out.

The blur was starting to recede from his vision. He looked up, and his heartbeat was suddenly rushing louder in his ears. Surrounding them was a shimmering orange bubble, pulsing with the tell-tale flicker of psychic energy. Raz was standing over him, propping up the shield. It was the only thing between the two of them and several tonnes of rocks that had just tumbled from the ceiling.

Dipper's mouth suddenly felt dry.

Raz must have noticed him sitting up, because he turned his head slightly towards him. His goggles were pulled over his eyes, masking his expression, but Dipper saw the tight line of his mouth.

"Talk about a tight spot, huh?" he joked. There was none of his usual bravado in the line, and Dipper couldn’t help but wince. "What now?"

"Give me a second," Dipper said, fumbling for his notes on the ancient barrow. He traced his finger down the winding passageways they'd taken, stalling over the runic scratches and chewing his lip in thought.

"It says… oh! Here." He jabbed his finger at a line. "It says there's a…"

He stopped, swallowed hard. Read the line a second, a third time. He… he couldn't have missed something like this, surely…?

"Hey," came a grunt from above him. "Don't leave me hanging here, yeah? I can’t keep this up forever."

Dipper looked up. Raz's outstretched arms were quivering ever so slightly. As Dipper watched, a trickle of loose dirt fell from above as the barrier, almost imperceptibly, shrank inwards.

"There's a trap here," Dipper said quietly. "Designed to kill intruders. Avoid at all costs. No way out."

There was silence, apart from the slow grinding of rocks above them as the barrier inched inwards, heartbeat by heartbeat.

“Damn it!” Dipper pounded his fist on the stone floor. “C’mon, Dipper, how did you miss  _ that _ ? Just waltzed on through the death trap, great! Nice going genius!  _ Real nice! _ Now I’m gonna get both of us killed, and it’s all my fault, I should never have tried to lead this expedition in the first place, what was I even…”

The words flooding out of his mouth slowed. Raz was laughing - a low, throaty chuckle. It tapered out into a cough in the dry air.

“Sorry,” Raz said, noticing Dipper’s incredulous expression. “It’s just funny, y’know? The first time you actually  _ admit _ something is your fault -”

“Yeah, okay? It  _ is _ my fault! There. I messed up.” Dipper felt his face flush. “Happy?”

“No, but -” Raz wheezed another dry laugh. “It’s  _ not _ , even! It’s funny because this time, it’s - it’s  _ my  _ fault.”

Dipper groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I can’t believe - I  _ genuinely can’t believe _ , we’re in this life or death situation, and we  _ still _ find dumb stuff to argue about!”

“It’s my fault because  _ I _ was the one who decided it should be just the two of us.” All the humour was gone from Raz’s voice now, replaced with a slight quaver, like he was finding it hard to draw in enough air. “If Lili had been here, we could have moved this together. But no, I just  _ had _ to go alone, I  _ had _ to prove to you that I could do this.”

“Okay, fine! It’s your fault!” Dipper waved his hand. “And that’s even dumber!  _ Why _ on earth would you need to prove anything to m-”

“Because you  _ hate me _ !”

Dipper felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

His mouth formed shapes -  _ what? _ , then,  _ why? _ , but he couldn’t bring himself to voice them somehow.

“You hate me,” Raz murmured. “I guess I thought I could - win you over, or something, by showing you what I could do. Something stupid like that.” He let out a choked noise - oh, geez, was he  _ crying _ ? The goggles were still over his eyes, but Dipper could see the tremor in his bottom lip, the way his cheeks were tight and red. “Some plan that was, huh?”

“No.” Dipper inched himself forward. “No, no, no, I - I don’t hate you, Raz. Of course I don’t.”

Raz shook his head. “Then - then  _ why _ -”

Dipper bit the inside of his cheek. He cast his mind back - all the times he’d been standoffish or dismissive. It all seemed so childish now. Why had he said those things? Hurt pride, perhaps - a sense of rivalry - but beneath it all...

“I - because I was jealous of you, okay?” The words were a shock, but as soon as they came out of his mouth Dipper realised they were true. He shook his head with a sigh. “Are you kidding me? Of  _ course _ I was jealous! You and Lili rolled up and you’re  _ secret agents  _ \- I’d been studying the paranormal for  _ years _ , but for you two it was your whole _ job _ … You’ve got all these amazing powers, you’re more experienced than me, more athletic, more charismatic - and what do I have, huh? Some crummy old books I didn’t even  _ write _ , and a stupid  _ hat _ .”

He leant back against the wall of the bubble with a groan, and then jolted forward when it rumbled, contracting another half-inch inward. “All this time, I - I thought  _ you _ didn’t like  _ me _ ,” he continued. “I thought you were always trying to one-up me, or replace me, or something! Not  _ impress _ me!” He ran a hand down his face. “God, that sounds stupid when I say it out loud. For the smart guy, I can be a real idiot sometimes.”

Raz huffed. “Well, I guess th-that makes two of us, huh?”

The walls of the bubble spasmed, again, shrank another inch. Raz was visibly shaking now.

“It might be too little too late for this, but… I really look up to you, Dipper.” His voice was little above a whisper now, heavy with the strain of the battle against gravity he was slowly but surely losing. “You’re really smart, and you’ve got a good h-head under pressure. It always seems like… no matter what kind of a pinch we’re in… y-you can always find a way out.” A wry grin crept its way onto his face. “G-guess I should have said so sooner, huh?”

The barrier sagged another half an inch as he buckled, almost taking a knee. There was barely enough room for him to stand, let alone for the both of them. Dipper could feel the prickle of energy against his back, and the rumbling of stone through his feet.

"And now," Raz said weakly, "we're gonna be squished by rocks." Another quarter of an inch. "Sorry."

Dipper let out a deep breath, and clenched his fist.

"No," he said. "We're not."

Raz tried to laugh, but it came out as little more than a gasp. "I'm sorry," he repeated, "but I - I can't move all this on my own, I -"

"Yes, you can," Dipper said. "You've got this."

"Dipper, I -"

"You've got this!" The rumbling got louder as Dipper got to his feet, reaching up and pulling Raz's goggles gently off his face. "Hey, look at me, c'mon."

Raz's eyes were screwed shut with effort, but at this they slowly opened - hesitantly, out of sync with each other. But it was progress. Dipper put a hand on his shoulder, looking into his eyes.

"You're not just some ordinary schmuck like me, okay? You're a Psychonaut. The youngest Psychonaut in  _ history _ , and you are  _ not gonna die _ in a place like this, you got that?!" Dipper found himself yelling over the rumbling of stone, the shuddering of the earth underneath them. "You are  _ not gonna die here! _ "

Suddenly, the sound of the rocks above them stopped. The only noise was the two of them, breathing harshly in the small space.

Raz straightened up. He flexed his fingers, squared his shoulders, and closed his eyes.

The glow of the shield around them became brighter - Dipper had to throw an arm up to shield his face as the energy became almost blinding. Then it started to expand, inflating like a balloon. The grinding and crashing of stone grew to a cacophony, and above it Dipper heard a sharp  _ crack _ , stumbling as the floor below him split with the pressure. He saw the crack grow, shooting like lightning in either direction as the shield’s force started to crack the very corridor they’d been in - and there, as the wall gaped open, he saw through half-squinted eyes a chink of light.  _ Outside _ . 

No time to think. He darted forward, grabbing Raz around his midsection, and hauled them both towards the opening. The shield flickered, and then popped, and the rocks crashed in like the tide behind them as they were expelled in a great cloud of dust.

When the ringing in Dipper’s ears stopped, he realised he was laying on something soft. Thick green moss carpeted the forest floor here. As he gingerly picked himself up, he saw where it had grown over the outer shell of the barrow, almost perfectly disguising with its surroundings - apart from the place where they’d burst through the outer wall.

Raz was sprawled on his back, chest heaving. He turned his head slightly as Dipper approached, but his eyes remained resolutely closed, face pinched in a grimace.

“Are we dead?” he managed. “‘Cause I’m not ready to find out which afterlife this is.”

“You can look,” Dipper snorted. “We made it.”

Raz craned his neck, opening one eye long enough to take in the forest canopy above him. Then he collapsed back down with a sigh of relief.

“Booyah.”

Dipper sat down next to him, listening to Raz’s breathing slow and letting the adrenaline slowly fade from his system. The late afternoon sunshine was turning the pine needles liquid gold, and after the rank, stale atmosphere of the barrow, fresh air had never smelled so sweet.

Once Raz had got his breath back, Dipper decided to break the silence.

“That was pretty amazing back there,” he said. “For a moment, I wasn’t sure we were gonna make it.”

Raz huffed. “Me neither,” he said. “But you give a good pep talk, I guess! So… thanks.”

Dipper dug his hand into the carpet of moss, teasing out a fluffy strand between his fingertips.

“We’ve probably got a lot to talk about when we get back to the shack, huh?” he asked absent-mindedly. Raz only hummed in response; but when Dipper looked over, he met his gaze with an easy smile.

Rolling to his feet, Dipper bent down and offered Raz his hand. He pulled the other boy up, and Raz swayed for a second, took a single tentative step, and promptly collapsed again.

“Aww, man. I’m good, I’m good!” he laughed, waving away Dipper’s frantic attempts to help. “I just need a few more minutes. I’m good, I promise.”

Dipper rolled his eyes, hands on his hips. “Well, I hope so,” he said, “I don’t think I can carry you all the way back to the shack from here on my own.”

Raz snickered. “Noodle arms.”

A few hours ago, Dipper realised, he would have rankled at the comment. But now he found himself laughing along with it, as the pine trees cast long shadows across them both. That was progress, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Dipper, as they walk back to the shack: so if you weren't trying to replace me, what was with all those secret conversations you kept having with my sister?  
> Raz: oh, we were just talking about trans stuff :)  
> Dipper:  
> Dipper: _OH,_
> 
> i'm back with more oneshot content! HUGE shoutout to everyone in the Mystery Kids Return discord server, you guys are all really cool and i love you a lot.
> 
> similar to Hot Chocolate, this has no direct connection to Omens but follows my characterisation and headcanons for the first summer. i really like the idea of dipper and raz having kind of a rivalry at first, because Drama. whatever your interpretation of augustus and raz's relationship in PN, it's clear that raz really craves validation/positive reinforcement and just isn't getting it from his dad (which is part of why he gloms onto Sasha so easily). he really wants to impress and be liked, bless him, and as a performer showing off seems like a natural way to get that. meanwhile dipper is really insecure and gets suspicious easily, and _of course_ he's going to be wary of these two younger kids with superpowers who just showed up claiming to be government agents, and not take kindly to raz's showboating - so raz just thinks, tough crowd huh? alright, watch THIS! ...and things just kind of spiral from there. but then they talk it out and make up, hooray!


End file.
